Yesterday, we discussed how parental drinking can have an impact on our children. It was a fascinating conversation about how to have positive, honest conversations about alcohol with young people, and where to find help and support if you’re worried about your own drinking or someone else’s. It’s a conversation that probably happens less often than it should.

Daisy spoke with guests, Dave Wilson, aka Sober Dave, and Sarah Acheson from Oasis Project, a charity that supports families affected by drugs and alcohol. They talked about how lockdown and the pandemic might have had an impact on parents’ drinking and what the knock-on effect has been on children. Dave talked candidly about his experiences of drinking, how that affected his family and relationships, and his decision to go sober.

You can find Dave Wilson on Instagram as @soberdave, and Twitter as @soberdaveuk and on his website: davidwilsoncoaching.com. He also has a podcast called One for the Road

Oasis Project is on Twitter @Oasis_Project_, on Facebook facebook.com/OasisPrjct and Instagram @oasis_project_. Their website is at: oasisproject.org.uk
Also Young Oasis provides a place of safety and support for children and young people who have been affected by a family member’s drug or alcohol misuse.
Oasis Project also links with One Stop, Brighton’s specialist midwifery team for pregnant women/people where alcohol or other substances are a concern. They offer care and support by a multi-disciplinary team.

⭐️ You can see all the discussions from our series and find where to get help and support here: Raising Teens Live: Families and Alcohol

Other Help & Support

We Are With You charity, wearewithyou.org.uk, offers free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs or mental health from local services or online

NACOA, nacoa.org.uk, (the National Association for Children of Alcoholics) provides information, advice and support for everyone affected by a parent’s drinking

Back on Track, brighton-hove.gov.uk/back-track-brighton-hove, support for families in Brighton & Hove when a parent is drinking too much.

Next week…

Next Thursday’s Facebook Live: At what age does our drinking start to impact a child? Join us on our Make (Good) Trouble Facebook page or our Raising Teens Facebook group. If you have a question, post in the comments below.

We caught up with the ace Luci Hammond from ru-ok? today to talk about parenting and the challenges of teenage drinking. Ru-ok? offers free confidential advice, guidance, support and information on drugs, alcohol and sexual health for under 18s in Brighton & Hove, their parents / carers or concerned others.

Daisy and Luci spoke about how to broach the difficult topic of alcohol, of safe limits and how to deal with peer pressure and shame. You can watch the full discussion below.

Luci told us about some fascinating research from the University of Brighton and Drink Aware that looked at “what makes for effective conversations about alcohol between parents and their 15-17 year olds”. It includes some excellent advice, such as:

Modelling behaviour – recognising how parents can influence a child’s attitude to alcohol, and the benefit of having open conversations about drink

Managing that first invitation to a party by checking in with other parents and talking to your child about strategies to prevent harm.

When and how to start a conversation about alcohol – being open and honest and having small, informal chats that could be related to TV soaps or when you’re doing the shopping often take the heat out of the interaction and helps to demystify alcohol for young people.

⭐️ You can see all the discussions from our series and find where to get help and support here: Raising Teens Live: Families and Alcohol

Help and advice

If you need support or information, take a look at our Help page on Alcohol and Drugs.

You can find ru-ok here: www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/ru-ok

Next week

Next week’s Facebook Live is on Thursday 17th June, and we’ll be tackling the thorny issue of adult drinking and how a parent’s behaviour might affect our teens. Join us on our Make (Good) Trouble Facebook Page or our Raising Teens Facebook Group.

If you have a question, please leave a comment below.

Meet Lotti who has joined Make (Good) Trouble as Production Assistant through the Kickstart scheme, and is our newest member of the team.

Lotti, our new Production Assistant

I’m very excited to be working with Make (Good Trouble) as I know how much they put into helping young people’s mental wellbeing and prioritise the importance of engaging with different types of digital media. This is especially important to me as I’m am very passionate about incorporating social and environmental issues into my photography and videography and have always been eager to work within young people’s mental health. I’m very much looking forward to making lots of good trouble with the team!

This guest post was written for us by Mose, who is one of the many young voices who have spoken to us and shared their thoughts after the death of Sarah Everard.

Make (Good) Trouble promotes dialogue from and between young people and authorities to foster positive change.

How I feel about Sarah Everard, the vigil, and the police response. 

First off, I’d like to say, like a lot of women and girls, Sarah Everard’s death took a toll on me in a way I didn’t realise it would. I was reminded of every time I felt petrified for my life, which is a lot more than I like to admit. This tragedy forced me to face those demons again. It brought me to tears and I felt myself fall down a pit of vulnerability and powerlessness. I felt so, so alone and scared. It was a reality check; a harsh truth slapped in my face that I have never and may never be safe as a girl, a woman, and sadly, that I am just one of the lucky ones. 

The vigil was needed. End of story. It was needed for everyone. Our shared pain needed comforting. The police, had no right to cancel the vigil for a woman who’s life was taken away by one of their own. No right. They should have stood with us, side by side to show they understood the pain felt by everyone, maybe then would we be more sympathetic to the good police officers. But they didn’t. Police officers man-handled women at a vigil for a woman kidnapped and killed brutally by a police officer. How they couldn’t see what a mistake they were making, I’ll never understand. It was very easy to predict that by cancelling the vigil, people were still going to go. And it was equally as easy to predict that the way the police decided to deal with the vigil would lead to protests, more crowds and risk of people catching coronavirus, which they so desperately claim is the reason why the vigil had to be cancelled. Their plan backfired massively. If the vigil went ahead as planned, with the safe planning in place by the organisers of Take Back These Streets, we would have had some closure, the ability to pay our respects, say goodbye, and to not feel so alone.  There would be no protests days after, because we would have dealt with our feelings positively and healthily. What the police has done is shown they don’t care, and with that, the divide between police and citizens stretches even further. 

Lastly, I’d just like to say, the limitations the government desire to put on protests, which are a basic human right, is madness. Time limits, noise reductions, more intrusive methods, etc, etc. And for what? Because we’re disrupting the community? We’re disrupting the police’s day? That’s the point of a protest. This bill will not work. The people will fight even harder. And just like what happened at Sarah Everard’s vigil and the protests that followed, will happen again and again. We will not be silenced and our spirits will not be broken. People will keep shouting, keep chanting, keep marching, bigger and louder than ever before. Because this is our life, and we have human rights and we stand together to defend our rights. 

An image Mose posted on Instagram after the news of Sarah Everard’s death