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“If you are experiencing this, I would say reach out to somebody” Suzanne Harrington

“They feel really upset talking about the parent that’s drinking because they love their parents and they feel it’s a sense of betrayal, talking to me about something that their mum or dad is doing. So it’s really about, in the beginning, just building up that relationship with the young person so they start to know that there’s no judgement.” Sue Kleinman, Back on Track

In the third in our series of live discussions about parenting and alcohol, Daisy talked to Sue Kleinman, Family Worker from Back on Track, and mother and daughter Suzanne Harrington and Lola about their experiences. Suzanne is a recovering alcoholic and, like many others, lapsed during the pandemic. She described her drinking years as like being on “an endless hamster wheel” and that those feeling the same should reach out for help.

Lola talked about her open discussions with her mum about her past drinking, “It’s not some secret thing, which I think is so important”.

Read the transcript: When does a parent’s drinking affect children?

⭐️ You can see all the discussions from our series and find where to get help and support here: Raising Teens Live: Families and Alcohol

Help and support

Back on Track, brighton-hove.gov.uk/back-track-brighton-hove, support for families in Brighton & Hove when a parent is drinking too much.

Oasis Project is on Twitter @Oasis_Project_, on Facebook facebook.com/OasisPrjctand Instagram @oasis_project_. Their website is at: oasisproject.org.uk
Also Young Oasis provides a place of safety and support for children and young people who have been affected by a family member’s drug or alcohol misuse.
Oasis Project also links with One Stop, Brighton’s specialist midwifery team for pregnant women/people where alcohol or other substances are a concern. They offer care and support by a multi-disciplinary team.

RU-OK? offers free confidential advice, guidance, support and information on drugs, alcohol and sexual health for under 18s in Brighton & Hove, their parents / carers or concerned others.

NACOA, National Association for Children of Alcoholics, offers advice and information, including a helpline 0800 358 3456, message boards and online chat.

Al-Anon and Al-Ateen offer help for adults and teens affected by someone else’s drinking.

Young Carers offer one to one support in Brighton & Hove including group and respite activities and advocacy and support with services. The referral form can be found here: carershub.co.uk as well as further information about the project. If anyone would like to discuss a young carer or a young person themselves would like to talk to somebody, their number is 01273 746222 and there is someone in the office almost every day from 9-5. They have no waiting list for support.

The Children’s Society suport for Young Carers – they “help them find balance, give them space to enjoy being young and support them into adulthood so they can pursue their dreams outside of caring.”

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Yesterday, we discussed how parental drinking can have an impact on our children. It was a fascinating conversation about how to have positive, honest conversations about alcohol with young people, and where to find help and support if you’re worried about your own drinking or someone else’s. It’s a conversation that probably happens less often than it should.

Daisy spoke with guests, Dave Wilson, aka Sober Dave, and Sarah Acheson from Oasis Project, a charity that supports families affected by drugs and alcohol. They talked about how lockdown and the pandemic might have had an impact on parents’ drinking and what the knock-on effect has been on children. Dave talked candidly about his experiences of drinking, how that affected his family and relationships, and his decision to go sober.

You can find Dave Wilson on Instagram as @soberdave, and Twitter as @soberdaveuk and on his website: davidwilsoncoaching.com. He also has a podcast called One for the Road

Oasis Project is on Twitter @Oasis_Project_, on Facebook facebook.com/OasisPrjct and Instagram @oasis_project_. Their website is at: oasisproject.org.uk
Also Young Oasis provides a place of safety and support for children and young people who have been affected by a family member’s drug or alcohol misuse.
Oasis Project also links with One Stop, Brighton’s specialist midwifery team for pregnant women/people where alcohol or other substances are a concern. They offer care and support by a multi-disciplinary team.

⭐️ You can see all the discussions from our series and find where to get help and support here: Raising Teens Live: Families and Alcohol

Other Help & Support

We Are With You charity, wearewithyou.org.uk, offers free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs or mental health from local services or online

NACOA, nacoa.org.uk, (the National Association for Children of Alcoholics) provides information, advice and support for everyone affected by a parent’s drinking

Back on Track, brighton-hove.gov.uk/back-track-brighton-hove, support for families in Brighton & Hove when a parent is drinking too much.

Next week…

Next Thursday’s Facebook Live: At what age does our drinking start to impact a child? Join us on our Make (Good) Trouble Facebook page or our Raising Teens Facebook group. If you have a question, post in the comments below.

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We caught up with the ace Luci Hammond from ru-ok? today to talk about parenting and the challenges of teenage drinking. Ru-ok? offers free confidential advice, guidance, support and information on drugs, alcohol and sexual health for under 18s in Brighton & Hove, their parents / carers or concerned others.

Daisy and Luci spoke about how to broach the difficult topic of alcohol, of safe limits and how to deal with peer pressure and shame. You can watch the full discussion below.

Luci told us about some fascinating research from the University of Brighton and Drink Aware that looked at “what makes for effective conversations about alcohol between parents and their 15-17 year olds”. It includes some excellent advice, such as:

Modelling behaviour – recognising how parents can influence a child’s attitude to alcohol, and the benefit of having open conversations about drink

Managing that first invitation to a party by checking in with other parents and talking to your child about strategies to prevent harm.

When and how to start a conversation about alcohol – being open and honest and having small, informal chats that could be related to TV soaps or when you’re doing the shopping often take the heat out of the interaction and helps to demystify alcohol for young people.

⭐️ You can see all the discussions from our series and find where to get help and support here: Raising Teens Live: Families and Alcohol

Help and advice

If you need support or information, take a look at our Help page on Alcohol and Drugs.

You can find ru-ok here: www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/ru-ok

Next week…

Next week’s Facebook Live is on Thursday 17th June, and we’ll be tackling the thorny issue of adult drinking and how a parent’s behaviour might affect our teens. Join us on our Make (Good) Trouble Facebook Page or our Raising Teens Facebook Group.

If you have a question, please leave a comment below.

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Meet Lotti who has joined Make (Good) Trouble as Production Assistant through the Kickstart scheme, and is our newest member of the team.

Lotti, our new Production Assistant

I’m very excited to be working with Make (Good Trouble) as I know how much they put into helping young people’s mental wellbeing and prioritise the importance of engaging with different types of digital media. This is especially important to me as I’m am very passionate about incorporating social and environmental issues into my photography and videography and have always been eager to work within young people’s mental health. I’m very much looking forward to making lots of good trouble with the team!